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Giving Your Self Space to Succeed
We're thrilled to bring you a collection of insights, tips, and updates designed to help you break free from limitations and achieve your limitless potential. This month, we focus on giving yourself the space to succeed. Dive in and discover how to realize if you put Un-Realistic pressure on yourself, how to say "No" and tools you can use to prioritize the 20% of effort that gives you the 80% of your results.
This month’s insights include:
Exclusive insights from top success coaches
Giving Yourself Space to Succeed
Understanding the Impact of Un-Realistic Expectations
Upcoming Events
Special discounts on coaching programs and self-directed training
Recommended tools and resources for personal growth
Sian's's inspiring success story
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Un-Realistic Expectations:
Transforming Fear into Motivation
By Lisa Murphy

In today's fast-paced world, the pressure to succeed can be overwhelming. Mid-career professionals and entrepreneurs alike often find themselves grappling with unrealistic expectations that hinder their progress and fuel their fears. But what if we could transform that fear into a powerful motivator? This article delves into the nature of these expectations, how they hold us back, and offers practical advice from renowned success coaches and research-backed strategies to turn fear into a driving force for success.
Understanding Un-Realistic Expectations
Unrealistic expectations are beliefs or standards that are not grounded in reality or practicality. They often stem from societal pressures, personal insecurities, or a desire to meet certain perceived standards. According to a study by the American Psychological Association (APA), these expectations can lead to chronic stress, burnout, and a pervasive sense of failure.
"A significant portion of professional burnout can be attributed to the internalization of unrealistic expectations, leading to a perpetual cycle of dissatisfaction and stress." - APA Study on Professional Burnout, 2020.
The Impact of Unrealistic Expectations
Renowned success coach, Tony Robbins, emphasizes the detrimental effects of unrealistic expectations: "When you set unrealistic expectations, you're setting yourself up for failure. It's like trying to hit a moving target that keeps getting farther away." This constant chase can result in a negative feedback loop where the fear of failure becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Recognizing Unrealistic Expectations
1. Identify the Source:
Determine where these expectations are coming from. Are they self-imposed, or are they influenced by external factors such as social media or peers?
2. Assess Their Validity:
Ask yourself if these expectations are realistic and attainable. Are they based on factual evidence or assumptions?
3. Seek External Perspectives:
Consult with mentors, peers, or a coach to gain an objective view of your goals and expectations.
Practical Advice on Transforming Fear
1. Embrace a Growth Mindset
Carol Dweck, a renowned psychologist, and author of "Mindset: The New Psychology of Success," suggests that adopting a growth mindset can help individuals view challenges as opportunities rather than threats. This shift in perspective can reduce the fear of failure and encourage continuous improvement.
2. Break Down Goals
Mel Robbins, a motivational speaker, and author of "The 5 Second Rule," advises breaking down large, daunting goals into smaller, manageable tasks. This approach not only makes goals more attainable but also reduces the anxiety associated with them.
3. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness techniques can help in managing fear and anxiety. According to a whitepaper by the National Institute of Health (NIH), mindfulness practices such as meditation and deep breathing exercises can significantly reduce stress and improve focus.
"Mindfulness-based interventions have been shown to reduce stress, anxiety, and depressive symptoms, enhancing overall emotional well-being." - NIH, Mindfulness Research Summary, 2018.
4. Reframe Fear as a Motivator
Success coach Brendon Burchard, author of "High Performance Habits," suggests reframing fear as a signal that you're pushing your boundaries and growing. Instead of avoiding fear, use it as a motivational tool to propel yourself forward.
5. Develop a Support System
Having a strong support system is crucial. Surround yourself with positive, encouraging individuals who can offer guidance and support. According to a Harvard Business Review study, a strong professional network can enhance career success and satisfaction.
Case Study: Jane’s Journey to Overcoming Fear

Jane, a mid-career professional, found herself paralyzed by the fear of public speaking. Her unrealistic expectation was that she had to be perfect and flawless in every presentation. By working with a coach, practicing mindfulness, and breaking down her fear; Jane went from recognition to understanding to dissection to dealing with it. Having a coaching to assist her in her success, she changed an overwhelming issue into manageable steps, Jane transformed her fear into a source of motivation. Today, she is a confident speaker who inspires others with her journey.
In Truth ...
Unrealistic expectations can be a significant barrier to success, but by recognizing and addressing them, you can transform fear into a powerful motivator. Embrace a growth mindset, break down goals, practice mindfulness, reframe fear, and build a supportive network. By applying these strategies, you can turn your fears into stepping stones toward achieving your full potential.
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Assistance with
Tools and Resources
Our focus this month is on tools that help you prioritize your tasks to overcome your fears - known and un-known.
1. Eisenhower Matrix
Description:Â This time-management tool helps categorize tasks based on urgency and importance.
How it Helps:Â By distinguishing between urgent and important tasks, users can focus on what truly matters and avoid the paralysis that comes with trying to handle everything at once.
2. Mind Mapping Software (e.g., MindMeister)
Description:Â Mind mapping allows you to visually organize information, brainstorm, and plan.
How it Helps:Â It helps to identify and break down fears into manageable parts, making it easier to tackle them step by step.
3. Task Management Apps (e.g., Todoist, Trello)
Description:Â These apps help you organize, prioritize, and track your tasks.
How it Helps:Â By providing a clear overview of tasks, deadlines, and priorities, these tools reduce the stress and fear of missing out on important tasks.
4. Pomodoro Technique
Description:Â A time-management method where you work for 25 minutes and then take a 5-minute break.
How it Helps:Â It breaks tasks into manageable intervals, reducing overwhelm and helping maintain focus. Over time, this can reduce the fear of large or complex tasks.
5. Journaling Tools (e.g., Day One)
Description:Â Digital or physical journaling tools for recording thoughts, plans, and reflections.
How it Helps:Â Journaling can help identify and articulate fears, and setting daily priorities in a journal can provide clarity and reduce anxiety.
From Limited to Limitless:
Sian's Journey to Becoming the "Go-To" Green Architect
Sian, a talented green architect, came to me with a clear but unrealized vision: to become the "Go-To" architect in her region. Her business felt stuck, and she was struggling to position herself effectively within the community. Although Sian knew she had valuable expertise to offer, she was burdened by the unrealistic expectation of instant recognition. This expectation stemmed from her deep-seated fear of both success and failure.
During our sessions, we delved into Sian's "truths" and reviewed the evidence of her past successes. Through this process, it became apparent that Sian's value was undeniable; what she lacked was a fresh perspective. Together, we unpacked her accomplishments, highlighting her unique strengths and contributions to sustainable architecture.
As we progressed, Sian began to see her situation differently. She realized that the recognition she sought was already within reach—she simply needed to align her self-perception with her reality. With renewed clarity and confidence, Sian embraced her role in the community, leveraging her expertise and past successes to solidify her position.
Today, Sian stands out as the "Go-To" green architect in her region, not because of a sudden change, but because she recognized and embraced the value she always had. Her journey was a testament to the power of perspective and the importance of acknowledging one's own worth.
7 Quick Tips for Paving Your Path to Success
1. Recognize and Replace Un-Realistic Expectations
Tip:
Identify unrealistic expectations that may be holding you back. Replace them with wild dreams that ignite your passion and motivate you to take action.
Example:
Instead of expecting instant recognition, envision becoming a leader in your field through consistent effort and innovation.
2. Use the Eisenhower Matrix for Prioritization
Tip:
Categorize tasks based on urgency and importance to focus on what truly matters.
Example:
Prioritize tasks that contribute directly to your long-term goals and delegate or eliminate less important tasks.
3. Mind Mapping for Clarity and Planning
Tip:
Use mind mapping software to visually organize your thoughts and plans.
Example:
Break down your wild dreams into actionable steps and connect related ideas to create a comprehensive roadmap.
4. Leverage Task Management Apps
Tip:
Utilize apps like Todoist or Trello to organize, prioritize, and track your tasks.
Example:
Set deadlines, create checklists, and monitor progress to stay on top of your goals and maintain momentum.
5. Implement the Pomodoro Technique
Tip:
Break tasks into 25-minute intervals with 5-minute breaks to maintain focus and productivity.
Example:
Use this technique to tackle large projects, reducing overwhelm and ensuring steady progress.
6. Journal for Reflection and Goal Setting
Tip:
Regularly journal to reflect on your achievements, set daily priorities, and articulate your fears and dreams.
Example:
Write down your successes and challenges each day, using this insight to adjust your plans and stay motivated.
7. Engage in Group Coaching and
Like-Minded Membership Groups
Tip:
Join group coaching sessions and membership groups to gain support, share experiences, and stay accountable.
Example:
Participate in a community of like-minded individuals who can provide new perspectives, encouragement, and feedback on your journey.
Importance of a Success Advisor
Tip:
Having a success advisor or mentor can offer invaluable guidance and new perspectives. They can help you navigate challenges, recognize your potential, and stay on track with your goals.
Example:
Just as Sian, the green architect, gained clarity and confidence through coaching, having a success advisor can help you uncover your truths and provide the fresh perspective needed to realize your wildest dreams.
By incorporating these tips and leveraging the power of community and mentorship, you can pave your path to limitless success.
FAQs:
How can I start defining my WHAT goals?
Begin by outlining your long-term vision and breaking it down into specific, actionable objectives that are well-defined, ambitious, and tenacious.
What are some common Flawed Expectations Appearing Real?
Common flawed expectations include fearing failure, overestimating risks, and expecting immediate results without considering the necessary effort and time.
How do I identify my high-impact activities?
Evaluate your tasks based on their potential outcomes and how they align with your goals. Focus on those that have the most significant impact on your progress.
